Hacker Cinema
Yes Man
2008 · Film · 104 min
Directed by Peyton Reed
Carl Allen, a guy whose life is going nowhere, signs up for a self-help program based on one simple covenant: say yes to everything…and anything.
7 positive1 mixed10 neutralfrom 18 commenters
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18 comments on Hacker News
I think the major driving factor would be curiosity, which is why I like the Conan Doyle quote - all the information is there, but it must be observed, and often the way to do that is to keep asking "why?" "Q" is true - why? Well, "P -> Q". Then, why is "P"? Toyota uses this strategy, they call it "Five whys."[1] Unfortunately, society is not super fond of this, as it is probing, and rather difficult. Just think of kids asking "Why is the sky blue?" Not a popular question with adults.
A second big point would be to realize that everything is part of a system. Nothing exists in a vacuum. As part of science, we using modelling which assumes vacuums or other inaccuracies to make reasoning possible. Think of the "spherical cow".[2] These simplifications make reasoning easier, but have hard limits that must be recognized. Quantum mechanics are true at a tiny scale, and relativity is true at a macro scale, but we do not have a well tested unifying theory (string theory and such are possible explanations).[3] Physicists are still asking why to understand.
As for growing these skills, that's tricky. Arthur Conon Doyale was a physician[4]; he studied an incredibly wide range of topics to inform himself. Knowledge is required, and unfortunately, the way to knowledge is through experience. The story of the master ship builder who looks for an hour, and taps once to fix a broken ship is true - you've identified it yourself. The process of gaining experience is one that people would love to hack, but unfortunately, in real life, there are no silver bullets. Your best "hack" here is probably meditation, though it sounds strange. The other "hack" might be one of "always saying yes" like in the Jim Carrey movie "Yes Man."[5] You get a lot of experience rather quickly always saying yes, but it seems rather dangerous too. Reading a lot helps: HN is a great source of diverse information which is nice.
One of, if not the biggest, problem with Capitalistic commodification of labor is the reduction of human capability. Briefly, we see this in a few places: one is the devaluation of experience, and the other is the preference for credentials over skills.
Experience allows humans to grow - a junior dev can, in fact, become a senior dev. Most commodities cannot do this: your tier 2 generic branded Orange Juice can never improve to become a tier 1 Tropicana OJ. So, experience isn't valuable to some people who treat humans like commodities.
The credentials come into play because they can be used, theoretically and incorrectly, to identify you as Tier 1 Tropicana or Tier 2 generic brand OJ.
Capitalism baby.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_whys
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spherical_cow
[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_interaction
[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Conan_Doyle
[5] https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1068680/
It's worth reading the book [0] that film was loosely based on. It's a good book and concludes the point of the parent:
> Yes Man is a memoir written by Danny Wallace based upon a year of the author's life, in which he chose to say "Yes" to any offers that came his way.
> ... furthers his career by saying "yes" in meetings with executives.
Also read his other books, they are good.
0: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes_Man_(book)
I really like the idea that saying yes to everything leads to more luck. When you open yourself up to new opportunities the outcomes will surprise you. It sounds dumb but it really works, and it’s a lesson that I learned from Jim Carrey of all people. The movie yes man may not be a classic but the message stuck with me and has had a profound impact on my “luck”
I love this advice. As a 31 y/o in another country. The mindset of saying "yes" to all, has brought me great stuff.
I got it from the movie "Yes, man". Its surprisingly good advice
2nd comment. What I like about HN vs rest.
1. HN posts feel curated, filtered, critical.
2. Regurgitating from my previous comment to OP: HN commenters are a cut above the rest. Redditers may have witty retorts but HN's commenters are very cerebral.
3. My time is precious. HN's "curated" posts and brilliantly observant comments makes my time reading it feel time spent was invaluable vs Reddit's mindless brainless doom scrolling for a single hidden diamond in the rough post/comment with exception to few subs.
I guess art is to the eye's of the beholder. I/we can't tell you if your time here is worth it, it's up to you to interpret that however, you coming here to "ask" that seems somewhat telling, don't you think?
On that vein, I found my wife of 10yrs on craigslist as she was inquiring on my laptop for sale. Everything seems to a degree serendipitous . You should give everything a try once...if not multiple times.
PS. Interesting fun movie on this note: Yes Man https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1068680/? tongue and cheek romcom, worth the life lesson(s) in it.
PPS> On what seems like a sad statement though mainly bc I'm feeling a bit melancholy lately. I wish I could befriend everyone here in HN.
+1. For anyone, watch the movie "Yes man", with Jim Carrey. It's a run of the mile chick flick, but the bit about banks, which is fairly at beginning, it portraits the "we prefer to say NO" policy of banks very accurate.
I started something similar about 12 years ago...inspired by the movie “Yes man” I started saying yes to every opportunity that I came across.
Wanna have lunch together? Yes!
Wanna go out with us tonight? Yes!
Wanna help me move? Yes!
It really got me out of my shell and made me realize that the reason I was alone is because I was an asshole. People had been trying to include me all my life, but I had always declined :(
I am much better these days :)
Surprised the article didn't mention the movie "Yes Man" which was exactly this premise.
Synopsis - man going through a hard time goes to motivational speaker/semi-cult meeting who's followers have to say 'Yes' or perform in the affirmative to whatever is asked of them.
There is plenty of info, namely that the service doesn't exist now, and that we can recognize and allow its crawler if it ever becomes successful. It just doesn't make sense to allow every tom, dick and harry's crawler on the promise of some future benefit. That's like delivering and opening every spam e-mail in case there is a nugget in there.
The idea of saying yes to everything is comically explored by Jim Carey in the film:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes_Man_%28film%29
( Continued From Below -> Sorry again for the length)
You have to be tough. You say you want an opinion? You like to communicate with people and discuss things? You want to be well established in your beliefs and thoughts? Start with being well established in your actions and your own thought process. As it seems to hold contradicting opinions to what you believe needs to be focused on or done.
I too was diagnosed with ADHD. I was scattered. I felt lost in an open world of activities as well as information. I tried management techniques, I tried meditation, I tried mini vacations (which are never unjustified by the way). I tried everything. I disappointed with my foundation and control of my life.
I even allowed myself to endorse taking Adderall. Which actually did more harm than good because I soon realized that yes...yes I'm hyper focused, I'm hyper focused installing yet a new program I don't need. I'm hyper focused digesting yet another topic that I only meant to glance at to start with. I'm hyper focused doing the exact same habits and mistakes that I did to start with! How has that happened?
It happens because at the end of the day regardless of the method you try to use to maintain control there is only one truth. You are either doing what you need to do, or you ALLOW yourself to be distracted. It’s a binary truth. It's on or off, and guess what? It's all up to YOU. Not a meditational leader, not a friend, not a spouse, and not an article...not even this comment. It will never be up to anyone other than yourself and the development of the ability to take a thought or a physical distraction at the moment it presents itself and eliminating it entirely. Truly saying NO! NO! NO! Repeatedly in your mind louder than the thought fighting for your attention. You've seen that move "Yes! Man" starring Jim Carrey most likely I would say. In the movie a man encounters a program developed to expand his mind and opportunities by simply saying "Yes" to them. How convenient it turned out for him. He went on a romantic adventure filled with spoiling homeless men with material possessions, late night dance clubs under the ambience of exotically non-rhyming music, experienced the spectacle activity called "Running Photography", and fell in love. Take a cue from that movie if you feel much too spread out and instead of allowing your mind to say "Yes! Man" to each new thought and ambition that presents itself force your mind to say "No! Man" without any other option.
Be a man, be a NO man. Be grounded in your actions and thoughts and train that habit and nature. It takes a while but it can and will happen because physiologically as a human you are designed to adapt. You can undo all those years of allowing your mind to say yes to everything the internet and the world had to offer. Realistically it may take just as long in a worst case scenario to un-train those habits and force them out with the mindset you really want. But in the training process you will actually be having an immediate effect from the very first time you say NO in your mind and eliminate an adversary. So that by the time you feel you have sharp and well-honed mindset you set out to achieve you in-directly demolished every other little thing on your life list as a result.
That's all I can offer. Again I say it might not be the optimal method for anyone in the world except myself. However the logic odd's and chance say that’s not true, and who knows it just might be for you after all...or you whoever may have stumbled upon this comment 73 clicks later in browsing Hacker News, you who meant to come online strictly for Christmas shopping only as it is last minute once again this year, or you who have no idea how you got here to this final sentence in the first place.
_Iron_Codex_
Build self-confidence before worrying about women. Get used to making strong eye contact. Learn to smile at every opportunity. Read some self-help books like No More Mr. Nice Guy and Models by Mark Manson. Definitely take up some hobbies that are outside of your comfort zone (something that doesn't involve fixing syntax errors!). Do dance classes make you cringe? Great, you should sign up for that immediately. Watch Yes Man, the movie. Go to the gym and start lifting. Practice meditating everyday for just 8 minutes. Look up rejection therapy, it's an app that gives you a challenge everyday to get rejected. Rejection is good, you'll learn to just accept it and realize that it's not a big deal after all which will allow you to overcome your fears, loosen up, not give a fuck, and live your life on your own terms. You don't have to do all these things at once. Pursue them one by one and I promise you that amazing things will happen to you.
You're asian, so am I. It's very likely that you were raised by parents who only cared about our academics and accomplishments. Unfortunately, we were never taught how to be in touch with our emotions and sexuality. You will never be truly happy until you learn to become comfortable with expressing yourself freely. So with that said, you need to get used to getting out of your head and not try to overthink everything. As nerds, geeks, and hackers, our strongest trait is our ability to analyze things on a very intricate level. But this is bad when it comes to relationships because connecting with another human being is none of that, especially with women, who are very much emotional creatures by design. It's great that you are speaking out about this issue, not many can. Never be afraid to show vulnerability. Good luck on your journey and please keep us updated!
Think of 10 things that you would NEVER EVER in a million years actually do. Do one a year for the next 10 years.
Usually the thing you think can never be done or won't ever happen is exactly the thing that you will do.
The way to break the thought cycle is to step out of it. Take action. Just an attempt will cause enough chaotic energy that something will happen.
I tried to go a whole year by saying YES! to everything.. even if it meant to lie, to fake, to break someone's heart. (I know you might think Yes Man, the book or the movie, but honestly it's true and it really helps)
We respect people for their attempts and subsequent failures sometimes more than their successes.
> Don't be the no in your life.
I feel like this is from the movie Yes, Man! That aside, I take your advice to heart. I don't want to be the no in my life. :)
Ok, this one is a bit funny, but I swear, one of the movies I think everybody should watch and take to heart is "Yes Man".
I know, I know, you are thinking WTF, Jim Carrey is the messiah? (no that's Bruce Almighty)
But it illustrates an important point, a point that I think software engineers are far too likely get trapped into because of our particular makeups. Which is that risk, spontaneity, just going for it, is what life is all about. And the crazy situations those experiences put you in will make you a richer person, both figuratively and literally.
The quote from the article about the party pretty much nails it. Just go with it, say yes to most everything, stop over thinking and go for it.
Reninds me that I wanted to watch the movie "Yes Man".
On a related note, I recommend seeing the movie "Yes Man."
> In short, how can I become smarter?
Work thoughtfully and hard, and take nothing for granted. That's it.
> How can build a great foundation where I can understand the concepts intuitively?
You're lucky, because you're in college. It's the best place to do it.
Know the material. If you can't draw a picture in 1 minute that would get the idea across to your grandmother, you don't understand it. Every time it says "Clearly," you prove whatever comes next. You close the book and put it away, and come back the next day and do the same thing.
Do all the problems. especially the hard ones at the end. You never look at your notes or your book when doing them. That's the difference between getting an A on the exam, and being able to teach someone that topic five years later. Your study time (at least of fundamentals, which is most of university) should consist ~70% sitting in front of a knotty problem, with no books in sight. It's recommended to do mainly hard problems, and it's absolutely OK to take several days to do them. If you don't make progress for more than 20 minutes, stop and come back a few hours later or the next day. But make sure you come back!
Now, here's the key: you do all this before the lecture on that topic. When you show up to lecture, you already know it cold. Except that you'll have so many questions. Most of your questions will start with "Why." They will be the questions that the other kids will find annoying. If you want to be smart, you need to be that guy.
Teach. It's trite but true. Teach people who seem smarter than you but don't know about this topic yet. They'll help you understand what you don't know properly. Also, our retention of information processed in a live setting is roughly 9x that from just reading.
Be curious. Our brains are wired for stories rather than abstractions, and even technical fields have a narrative. Who came up with this algorithm? How or why did it follow logically from what came before? What came next? By learning these things (the best way is to chat about it during office hours with professors, or with other smart students), you'll also be getting an informal education in what smartness and creativity look like in the real world.
Focus. Do not do what's above for every class, or every topic. Do it for only one topic at a time, that you're really interested in, exclusively.
Form a team. This is probably the most difficult (at least for shy people like me), but the most rewarding. If you know some other people who are also serious, and can get together and work with them in the fashion above, you will all progress much, much faster. Try to have some and discipline: you meet twice a week for two hours and work like crazy, and then go to the pub afterward and wind down (just like a sports team). If you can find a grad student or prof who's interested in "coaching" you, that will help even more. This is what grad school has that college doesn't. Create grad school for yourself in college, and you'll get smart much faster.
Play. Creativity emerges most spontaneously during play. Play means pet projects, hackathons, competitions, etc. Research projects during the summer are perfect (choose them based on coolness and/or fun). And play in completely unrelated areas, too (music is fantastic). Non-academic recreation (e.g. lots of sex) is quite important.
> .. go to graduate school at Stanford or MIT
Question: why do you want to go to grad school at Stanford or MIT?
> I would just like to prove to myself that I have what it takes
That is probably not a good enough reason. It's easy to become enamored with the idea of a thing. Spending all day wrestling with deep problems, letting your mind course over the beautiful edifice of ideas erected by those who came before. Unless you actually enjoy doing spending most of your day and most of your nights alone working, usually in a library or cramped office - then, perhaps there are other forms of "smartness" worth pursuing.
It's a decision only you can make - but if it's just about pride, I'll save you a lot of trouble and tell you it's not worth it.
> I've been feeling pretty lost in what I've wanted to do with my life
Most people feel the same way. It will not stop you from living a worthwhile life. The majority of interesting events and true life experiences you have will be unplanned - so don't take "want to do with your life" too seriously.
Have you ever seen the movie "Yes man" (Jim Carrey)? Whatever happens, he just says yes. As far as I can tell (at the tender age of 24) this is a good strategy for a successful, rewarding life. It may sound at odds with the "Focus" paragraph above, but it's not. You focus to improve yourself - and you say "yes" when serendipity comes knocking, often disguised as drudgery.
Good luck :)
That article wasn't Ebert's bleak assessment of the next 100 years. It was his review of the new Jim Carrey movie "Yes Man."